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No sleep? Feeling human again?

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In all the antinatalist propaganda I’ve seen in American culture, there is only one thing that makes me want to listen: people without children sleep better. This is true, even though baby 3’s sleep regression has been going on for four months. Asking me for a good sleep is like dangling a food stick in front of an animal that’s starving without the intention to feed it. Cruel, unusual punishment. A gratuitous provocation. I might bite.

It’s a good thing I know these techniques to help me stay in a positive frame of mind when the only choice is to drive on fumes.

Cold Hydrotherapy

Drink a tall, cold glass of water. You can soak your face for 10 seconds in a bowl. Massage the undereye area with an icecube. Take the coldest possible shower. By exposing yourself to extreme colds in any way, you can reduce inflammation, relieve pain, improve circulation, lower stress, and reduce mental and physical fatigue. Doing this first thing in the morning, when you have a long day ahead after a short night’s sleep, can rev the engine and help you get by.

Exercise

It’s the last thing you’ll want to do, but light exercise in the morning, particularly in the sunlight, can help you regulate your “circadian clock” —…



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